This is the man that I plan to entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle
Vengeance was mine!

But I'm out of the biz
The name I made, I'll trade for his
The only trouble is - -
I'll never tell.

She is the one
She's such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace
Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight - -
Embrace! Tight embrace!

I'll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that - -
No. I'll never tell.

Cause there's nothing to tell.

He snores

She wheezes

Say "housework" and he freezes

She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe

I talk; he breezes

She doesn't know what "please" is

His p____ got diseases from a Chumash tribe!

The vibe gets kind of scary

Like, she thinks I'm ordinary

Like, it's all just temporary

Like, her toes are kind of hairy

But it's all very well
Cause, God knows, I'll never tell!

When things get rough, he
Just hides behind his Buffy!
Now look, he's getting huffy
Cause he knows that I know.

She clings
She's needy
She's also really greedy
She nev-

His eyes are beady!

This is my verse, hello?
She-

Look at me! I'm dancing crazy!

You know

You're quite the charmer

My knight in armor

You're the cutest of the s_____es
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm, yet supple-
Tight embrace!

He's swell

She's sweller

He'll always be my feller

That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified

I've read this tale
There's wedding, then betrayal
And I know there'll come the day I'll want to run and hide

I lied
I said it's easy
I've tried
But there's these fears I can't quell

Is she looking for a pot of gold

Will I look good when I've gotten old?

Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful?

Will I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley?

Am I crazy?

Am I dreamin'?

Am I marrying a demon?

We can really raise the beam in making marriage a hell!

So, thank God, I'll never tell!
I swear, that I'll never tell

My lips are sealed

I take the Fifth

Nothing to see
Move it along

I'll never
Tell!

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
17
17.13
Buffy The Vampire Slayer I've Got A Theory/Bunnies/If W Lyrics
Carole King and David Palmer Nightingale Lyrics