Gangster 1 & 2
Chop the nuts
Pound the dough
Bake it up
Nice and slow
Then you got a Toledo
Toledo Surprise

Feldzeig (spoken)
Now sing it!

Gangster 1 & 2 (sung)
Pit the peach
Peel the skin
Mush it up
Throw it in
That's a tasty Toledo
Toledo Surprise

First you beat it up
Then you sweet it up
When you heat it up
If it tries to rise
Don't let it

It's a snap
Try it folks
Whip your whites
Split your yolks
Then you got a Toledo
Toledo Surprise

Feldzeig (spoken)
You boys are naturals. Keep it up 5-6-7-8

Kitty
Mr. Feldzeig? OOOh, what's going on here?

Feldzeig
Ah, Kitty! I'm developing a new act.

Gangsters 1 & 2 (sung)
Toledo Surprise

Kitty (spoken)
YOu're putting gangsters in the act and you won't put me in it? They're not even in the union.

Feldzeig
Shh! You got it all wrong. The new act is for you Kitty. And these boys are you're backup dancers.

Kitty
Backup dancers? Holy cats!
(sung)
What the hot toledo
Does to my libido
Good? Mmmm, yes indeedo
Sugary yum yum
(pause)
SURPRISE!

Squeeze the cream
Grease the pan
Lick the spoon
Flip the flan
Makes you bust your tuxedo
Toledo Surprise

Aldolpho (spoken)
Wait! Wait! Aldolpho, he make an anouncement. Wedding is off!

George
What? For the love of god, why?

Aldolpho
Aldolpho has made love to the bride!

Feldzeig
That's not the bride you idiot. That is the chaperone.

Aldolpho
What?

George
The wedding is on!

Janet
The wedding is off!

George
What?

Janet
Robert has kissed a French girl. Her name is Mimi. She's very beautiful

Robert
I couldn't help it, Janet. She was just like you. Only French

(JANET slaps ROBERT)

George
Sweet mother of pearl!

Tottendale
Underling?

Undeling
Yes madam?

Tottendale
What is all the commotion about?

Underling
The wedding, madam.

Tottendale
Wedding? Oh, I love weddings.

Underling
I'm afraid it has been called off.

Tottendale
Oh. How terrible.

Feldzeig
Yes, what a tragedy! What a wonderful, wonderful tragedy! Clear the floor boys, I'll show you how it's done!
(sung)
First you beat it up
Then you sweet it up
When you heat it up
If it tries to rise
Don't let it

Toledo Surprise!

Tottendale
Surprise?

Gangster 1
Wait until it's ready

Tottendale
Surprise?

Gangster 2
Wait until it's ready

Tottendale
Surprise?

Feldzeig
Wait until it's ready

Kitty
Now it's lookin' ready

Tottendale
Surprise!

Gangster 1 & 2, Kitty, and Feldzeig
You got it

Tottendale
Makes me twitch
Makes me shake
This dessert
Takes the cake
Hits me like a torpedo
Toledo Surprise

Aldolpho
Toledo Surprise

George
Toledo Surprise

Underling
Surprise

Drowsy Chaperone
Surprise

All
Surprise
Surprise
Surprise
Chop the nuts
Pound the dough
Bake it up
Nice and slow
Then you got a Toledo
Toledo Surprise

Then you got a toledo surprise!
Surprise!
Wait until it's ready
Surprise!
Wait until it's ready
Surprise!

That's a tasty Toledo Surprise!

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
18
18.44
Offer Nissim Final Lyrics
My Chemical Romance Bonus Track Lyrics