Mindless Self Indulgence A Very Twiztid Christmas Lyrics

Alright, so let me get this right, you say it's a m_________er who come to your house...

To your m____fucking house

And he ain't be trying to rob you?

Ah hell no, that's Santa Dawg, you ain't ever heard of Santa?

Nuh uh

Santa Claus, Saint Nick?

Nah

Kris Kringle?

Man nah!

You ain't ever heard of Kris Kringle?

Man Hell nah!!

Look (What?), he come down the chimney in some spots, but some people they ain't got no chimney, so he just come in tha back dooor, he may have to kick it in though, depending it what hood he in, cause some people be bolting they s___

Who?

You know Kwee-Kwee and them down on west 7 mile, you know, be slinging the herb.

Fool, I know who that is, who you talking about kicking in some DOORS?

Santa, SANTA CLAUS!...Ho Ho Ho everybody's Jolly

Oh, you mean the m_________er who be ringing the bell down in front of Churches' Chicken

Something like that, except he come and he be bringing gifts, it's like religious thing or something

Man, you acting like a sucker believing in that Fishtishish Bullshit!

Man, I don't even like fish! so, LOOK!

WHAT?

He's looking at his list

Right

He's checking it twice

Right, Right

And he gonna know who's naughty or nice

Man, hell nah, so what you saying, this m_________er work for the FBI? he got a list, what kind of list?

I mean, it's kinda like that,it ain't really a list like that,I mean its Christmas list, you know like gifts and stuff... remember when you was and you wanting s___e Invaders for the 5200 back in '86? (yea), and then nobody got it for you? (uh huh), cause you wasn't right, Santa was like f___ that, I ain't bringing him s___, I'mah gonna bring my homie Lil Poot erythang.

Well f___ SANTA, and f___ you

Man f___ you man, you don't be dissing no Santa Claus, dawg

I don't be beliving in that s___, that s___ ain't even real, man you acting like a little sucker beliving in some old Santa Claus s___

Man, SANTA for life fool

*have you been a good boy this year? if not I'm gonna split your f___ing head!"

With so much Drama in the D-E-T
It's kinda hard putting trimin's on my Christmas Tree
But, I some how, some way
Keep coming up with fresh a__ tinsel just to drizzle on the way
May I, wrap another gift, so that I, can sneek up in your house in the bedroom
Everybody tripping, roasting chestnuts, waiting on Santa to come
I got Blaze in the living room drinking Egg-Nog
Jamie's in the kitchen and he's rollin the bomb
I got Little Eric Loder dressed up like a Elf
And, all they keep saying is "go f___ yourself"
So, turn off the lights and close the doors
Man for what? Santa Claus Hoe
And, we gonna blow ounce with him
G's up, hoes down, I got Santa Claus high as s___

Chorus:
Sitting by the tree sipping Egg-Nog.
Waiting on Christmas gifts....Egg-Nog.
With my Mind on my presents
And my presents on my mind
Sitting by the tree sipping Egg-Nog
Waiting on Christmas gifts....Egg-Nog
With my mind on my presents
And my presents on my mind

Mixing Egg-Nog and Gin
Everybody got their cups but they ain't chiped in
Well i called up Blaze told him, cop a dime
He said him and Anybody coming through at nine
See everything is fine, cause I'm feeling all Christmassy
And I'm standing right next to the Christmas tree
Seeing the blinking lights made me sick
But I always decorate every year for Saint Nick
So, there ain't no chance he gonna pass me up
Got some Cocoa in a cup and some Hydro in a blunt
That I am gonna smoke with Santa Claus
Get him all s___-faced till the break of dawn
And, watch him fly off in the night
Hey thanks for the presents, I hope you make it home alright
Before he left he said "Hey, Listen Bro"
"Your the first stop i made, i gotta billion more to go".

*Chorus*

Later on Christmas Day
My homie Violent J
Came through with a gift for me
And a dope a__ fruit cake "aight dawg,"
With a phat a__ joint with blue cots
that make ya choke, with some bud, ain't no joke
Had to take a step back, sit my Egg-Nog down, knocking Rum and cot
I'm f___ed up now, but ain't no body clap, the presents are wrapped
s___gy's style through with a 40 in a sac "roll it up"
Smoke with Santa, break with the elves
They supposed to stop by at a half past twelve

*Chorus*

s___ If I would of known we was getting s___ for free
I would have pulled my d___ out!