AFI Cereal Wars Lyrics

Get up early in the morning,
going to the store.
Post, Kellogs, General Mills?
It's the cereal war.
f___in' store never has the monsters and they never get more.
Post, Kellogs, General Mills?
It's the cereal war.
I hope s__ual chocolate is in stock,
it's got a condom in the box.
I'll try some cocoa puffs today.
What the f___ is Sonny anyway?
Some say Dino's are the best,
they've got more marshmallows than the rest.
There's not a lot of cocoa in cocoa crispies,
and always stay away from wheaties.

Now it's dinner time and I'm going back to the store.
I had some Erkles, 'liked 'em a lot.
It's the cereal war.
I wish I were Calvin or Hobbes
and then I could try sugar bombs.
The soggies will never get Cap'n Crunch,
I guess I'll have Crunch Berries for lunch.
Breakfast cereals need to be sweet,
that's the only kind I'll eat.
Give me sugar not nuts and twigs!
Do I look like a f___in' squirrel to you?