Cletus T. Judd Motel California Lyrics

Yeah
Alright
Way to go
Ooooooh
Ooooooooh
Way to Go, Yeah!
alright....

On a dark country highway,
in my candy-apple corvér
a strong smell of Cletus,
need to change underwear!
Up ahead in the distance,
I saw a sickening sight
my tank near empty
and the lights is dim
reckon' I'd stop for the night.
The sign out front said vacancy
so, I punched the bell.
Dog mess everywhere I stepped
Holy cow, Oh my God what a smell.
So she fired up a lantern,
and she showed me her face.
false teeth and an old fruit jar.
I thought I heard them say...
Welcome to the Motel Californie!
such an ugly place (such an ugly place)
filled with toxic waste!
Aint but one room at the Motel Californie
Man this place is weird (man this place is weird)
Gosh I'm really scared!
the fossits were pricefestered
scorched my contact lens
hot said cold and the cold said hot
hot water burned the hair off my shin.
My room resembled a scrapyard
from a busted up TV set.
Rain was blowin throught my windows,
now my bed's soakin wet!
So I called up room service,
for a cheeseburger and fries,
that thing tasted like It'd been cooked
back in 1969!
You could my gas exploding from far away,
woke up the clerk in the middle of the night,
I swore I heard her say.....
Have you enjoyed your stay at the Motel Californie?
Oh, I aint feelin well (I aint feelin well)
cause the room sure smells.
She said we give it our best at the motel Californie.
surely you got some rest (hope you got some rest)
hell, I've froze to death
Stalactites from the ceiling
thermostat covered in ice.
And I pray, God I long for a holiday inn,
or a Motel 6 would be nice!
Went to the old maid's chambers
for a clean change of sheets.
Somebody stabbed her with an old buck knife,
she was cold dead and desceaced HAHAHA!
Last thing I remember,
I busted down my room door.
feeling nauceous as my stomach churned
from the scene I just seen before.
Took some X-LAX from the night stand,
here on the toilet I sat.
As soon as I get my big b___ from here,
I'm gonna call up Tom Beaudat!