Well, I'm a lonesome schoolboy
and I just came into town
Yeah, I'm a lonesome schoolboy
and I just came into town
Well, I heard so much about London
I decided to check it out

Well, I wait in Leicester Square
with a come-hither look in my eye
Yeah, I'm leaning on Nelsons Column
but all I do is talk to the lime

Oh where can I get my c___ sucked?
Where can I get my a__ f___ed?
I may have no money,
but I know where to put it every time

Well, I asked a young policeman
if he'd only lock me up for the night
Well, I've had pigs in the farmyard,
some of them, some of them, they're alright
Well, he f___ed me with his truncheon
and his helmet was way too tight

Oh where can I get my c___ sucked?
Where can I get my a__ f___ed?
I ain't got no money,
but I know where to put it every time

I'm a lonesome schoolboy

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