Adam Sandler Do It for Your Mama Lyrics

Performed by Adam Sandler, Frank, Judd, Jon, Katie, and Brooks Arthur

J.N.: "I can make a bigger splash than you!"
Jimmy: "Oh yeah, give it a shot"

[While jumping up and down on diving board]
J.N.: "Can opener!"
[Big splash]
Jimmy: "Man, that one was huge"
J.N.: "You go"

[While running towards pool]
Jimmy: "Ahhhh, jacknife!"

[Jumps in and small splash]
Tracy: "That was a dud, Jimmy"
Jimmy: "Shutup, Tracy"
Tracy: "You shutup"

[Door opens, walks over]
Momma: "Lunch time kids."

[Kids yelling happily]
Momma: "I made some jelly sandwiches and sliced up some cantelope. I figured you could eat a little food and and then maybe play with yer c___ and b____ fer a while."
J.N.: "I'm just gonna eat, mom."
Momma: "All right. And then maybe a little later, you can play with yer c___ and b____ fer momma."
J.N.: "I don't think so."
Momma: "Ok. Slow down Jimmy, yer already halfway done with yer sandwhich. You're gonna get a belly ache."
Jimmy: "No I'm not. I'm hungry."
Momma: "I know, but you shouldn't so fast. You're rushing honey, you're gonna choke. Put down your sandwhich and beat off your c___ and b____ for a little bit. Pace yourself."
Jimmy: "Oh god."

Momma: "Tracy, do you want some fruit or a sandwhich?"
Tracy: "No mom, I'm trying to lose weight. Guy said I'm getting fat."
Momma: "What? You look beautiful honey. He's crazy."
Tracy: "Guy said last summer I looked better in a bathing suit, so I'm gonna try to lose like three or four pounds."
Tracy: "Mom!"
Momma: "You're scared, aren't ya honey. You want momma to help you? Momma will stroke Guy's p____ for him. No one has to know. I'll sneak in when it's dark."
Tracy: "No! Mom, please!"
Momma: "You don't know how to tug on the c___ and b____? You need momma to show you? Get me a carrot, sweetheart. Where are you going!?"

J.N.: "Mom, where's the suntan lotion?"
Momma: "It's under the chair baby. You gonna lube up yer c___ and b____ and wack it for a little bit?"
J.N.: "Uhh, no. I'm just going to put some on my face so I don't get sunburnt."
Momma: "Smart thinking honey. And while yer at it you can put some on your brother's ding dong and knock around his nuts for him."
Jimmy: "Mom!"
Momma: "What Jimmy. Why don't you let your brother wack your c___ and nuts for a little bit. You're not playing with them right now so why not let him. Share, baby!"
Jimmy: "You're weird mom! I'm going swimming!"
Momma: "Oh, you shouldn't swim for a half an hour. I read that."
Jimmy: "Why?"
Momma: "Because you just ate, honey. And you'll get cramps. Why don't you just lay on the side of the pool and jiggle your b____ for momma."
Jimmy: "It's ok. I'll stay in the shallow end."
Momma: "Ok, baby. But don't hurt yourself with that big juicy hog of yours."

Jimmy: "Hey, J.N. Throw me that frisby."
J.N.: "Here! Whoops!"

[Sails over and falls to the ground]
Jimmy: "Nice throw. Right over the fence and into the Chasen's yard."
Momma: "Don't get all huffy puffy. I'll get it. Momma will make everything all right. J.N. you watch Jimmy and make sure he's safe in that water."
J.N.: "Ok, ma."
Momma: "And if you want you can beat your c___ and b____. Hi Mr. Chasen!"
Mr. Chasen: "Oh, hi Emily. How are you?"
Momma: "Oh, the boys threw the frisbee over the fence again. And there it is under the bush."
Mr. Chasen: "I'll get it for you."
Momma: "Sorry. Thank you. And while your under that bush, why don't you jack around your c___ and b____ for yourself. You can stare at my jugs and play with that healthy w___ of yours."
Mr. Chasen: "No, I'll just.. I'll just get your frisbee."
Momma: "All right baby."
Mr. Chasen: "Here you go."
Momma: "Thank you. Thanks. Thank Mr. Chasen, boys!"
Boys: "Thanks Mr. Chasen!"
Mr. Chasen: "You're welcome fellas."
Momma: "Have a good day. Oh, and..and tell your son Tommy, if he wants to come over later and play with his c___ and b____ with the kids he's always welcome. I don't know what happened with him and the boys, but they don't seem to be friendly anymore."
Mr. Chasen: "I'll do that Emily."
Momma: "All right. He's got a big one. You know that."

Momma: "Tracy! You're boyfriend Guy's car just pulled up."
Tracy: "Ok mom. Please don't embarass me!"
Momma: "Everything embarasses you at this age, but I'll do my best. Don't worry."
Guy: "Is it ok to come in?"
Tracy: "Come on back here guy!"
Momma: "Oh!"
Tracy: "Thanks for coming over!"
Momma: "Nice to see you Guy."
Guy: "Hi Mrs. Tucker."
Momma: "Why don't you go for a swim with the others?"
Guy: "I didn't bring a bathing suit with me."
Momma: "Oh no! You don't need a bathing suit. Just pull off your clothes and let your c___ and b____ feel the nice warm water."
Guy: "Uhhh, that's ok, Mrs. Tucker."
Momma: "Come on! Pull out your c___ and b____. The water's heated. You'll love it."
Tracy: "Mom! Stop it! Now!"
Momma: "What are you talking about, honey!? This way his b____ are out, you can stroke his ding dong in front of all of us. Come on, pull out that hog of yours. I wanna see it anyways. I wanna know what my daughter's been stroking."
Tracy: "Mom! Stop it!"
Momma: "In fact, everybody, pull out your c___ and b____ and rub it for momma. Play with yourself. It'll be good. Everyone. Wack away!"
J.N.: "You're sick mom! I'm leaving."
Jimmy: "I'm going to Billy's house. I can't take this anymore."

[Walking away]
Guy: "Come on, let's go."
Tracy: "You've humiliated me and Guy. We are so outta here."

Momma: "What did I do? What is the matter with you all? Come back here! You're ruining the day! It's so beautiful out. This is too much of a..."

[Picks up phone and starts dialing while car drives off]
"I can't take these kids anymore..."

[Phone rings and gets picked up]
Grandma: "Hello?"
Momma: "Momma, it's me, I'm very upset,"
Grandma: "Oh, what's the matter, baby?"
Momma: "The kids are yelling at me and they left me here all alone."
Grandma: "Did you tell them the kids to play with their c___ and b____?"
Momma: "I told them to play with their c___ and b____."
Grandma: "And what did they say?"
Momma: "They don't wanna play with them anymore."
Grandma: "Why don't they wanna play with them anymore?"
Momma: "I don't understand. They've got c___ and b____. They should play with them."
Grandma: "Poppy always loves when I play with his c___ and b____."
Momma: "You smack around daddy's c___ still, why shouldn't they beat theirs?"
Grandma: "Tell them to come over to grandma's house. I'll play with their c___ and b____."
Momma: "Oh momma."