It was the biggest c___ you'd ever seen,
but you've no idea where that c___ has been.
You said you were careful - you never were with me.
I heard you did it four times and jonnies come in packs of three.

She was the best s___ I'd ever had.
That doesn't mean I'm saying, bedwise, you were bad.
I think you were working, we got a hotel.
We didn't have anything but I thought I might as well.

I never told the rest.
I was drunk and I told you I was thinking about a test.
You know I just said it for effect.
Then you laughed and said I'd f___ anything in a skirt once I'm erect.

And she's a famous harlot in this town.
I know enough to, but still I couldn't turn her down.
He said I'm an a___hole, what was I thinking?
It's far too easy to blame it on the drinking.

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