Kevin Bloody Wilson The Apprentice Lyrics

Gotta getta job get a real good job gotta get an apprenticeship son,
That's what me old man told me he said you'll thank me when ya done,
The lyin' lazy old dole bludger he's never had a job in his life,
And he's never been a f___in' apprentice and he dunno what it's like...

When they pull me pants down 'round me ankles shave me pubic hair,
Grease me b____ with old sump oil and chain me to a chair,
Hoist me up on the workshop roof and turn the fire hose on,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.
What is he? He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.

Yeah then it's off to the store with an order form for a bucket of weldin' sparks,
And a left handed hammer and a cork screw spanner and a sheet of broken glass,
And a can of striped paint to paint the sky hook ta hang me push bike on,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.
Yeah then it's off to the office in me underpants for a dip in the typin' pool,
And see if they've got some plastic wrap for a female fattenin' tool,
Or a cheesy m___ burger with heaps of sauce and a randy tart for lunch,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.
That's why they pull me pants down 'round me ankles shave me pubic hair,
Grease me b____ with old sump oil and chain me to a chair,
Hoist me up on the workshop roof then turn the fire hose on,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.
Some one s___ in me sandwich box p___ed in me thermos flask,
Singed me eyebrows off with an oxy torch stuck an air hose up me a___,
Pinched the wheels off me f___in' push bike peirced me ear with a rivet gun,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.

Yeah I'm only the apprentice and I've put up with all this s___,
And I'll get through this apprenticeship if these a___'oles let me live,
And I can hardly wait for the day 'till I'm a tradesman too,
And I'll get me a f___in' apprentice... he he... ya know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna pull his pants down 'round his ankles shave his pubic hair,
Grease his b____ with old sump oil and chain him to a chair,
Hoist 'im up on the workshop roof and turn the fire hose on,
He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.
What is he? He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.
Big finish, He's only the apprentice and we're only havin' fun.