Mean Mister Mustard sleeps in the park.
Shaves in the dark trying to save paper.
Sleeps in a hole in the road.
Saving up to buy some clothes.
Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose.
Such a mean old man.
Such a mean old man.

His sister Pam works in a shop.
She never stops, she's a go-getter.
Takes him out to look at the Queen.
Only place that he's ever been.
Always shouts out something obscene.
Such a dirty old man,
A dirty old man.

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