Man, you're really one heck of a guy,
best friend since Junior High.
You showed me Playboy for the very first time;
that was rad!

We saw Bon Jovi, we sat in the front row,
I pierced your ear right before the show.
We stole your brother's beer and he didn't know, whoa!

Whoa, your new girlfriend is a son of a gun,
did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some? (just wanna get some?)

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion.
I know, you know she used to be my girl.
You'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
and did I mention that you both suck dot com?

Now your stuck with her;
like Mellencamp is stuck with Cougar,
guess that makes me the luckiest loser

I met her at a kegger passed out in the yard,
getting in her pants wasn't really that hard.
Six months later she crashed my car;
that was rad!

She's got a glow from her spray on tan,
Marilyn Manson is her favorite band.
I really think she might worship Satan;
not a fan

Whoa, Your new boyfriend is a son of a gun,
did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some? (just wanna get some?)

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion.
I know, you know she used to be my girl
you should run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
and did I mention that you both suck dot com?

Now she's stuck with you;
like a frat guy with a bad tattoo,
like celebrity golf with Alice Cooper,
guess that makes me the luckiest loser.

Mel Gibson, Danny Glover,
you deserve each other.
I'll leave the weapon when you take her home to meet your mother.
She was a superstar, backseat of my car;
those days are over now, but life goes on, yeah!

Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun,
did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some? (just wanna get some?) (just wanna get some?)
Yeah!

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion,
I know, you know she used to be my girl.
You'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
and did I mention that you both suck dot com?

Now your stuck with her
like Mellencamp is stuck with Cougar,
like number two on a p___er scooper,
I guess that makes me the luckiest loser.

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion, (luckiest loser)
I know, you know she used to be my girl, (luckiest loser)
You'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb (luckiest loser)
and did I mention that you both suck?

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