Watching Punk'd on MTV with Ashton Kutcher,
Reminded me of my handsome uncle working at the butcher.
He's oh so slim and trim, the man is not a glutton.
But he can't find a wife because he smells like mutton.
Mutton mutton... smells like mutton.

He's lonely and confused, he has an empty heart.
He's suave and he's hygienic,
he never popped a fart in his life...in his life.

Everyday he wishes all the girls will touch his b___on.
He tries so hard to talk to them, he'll even let a s___ in.
Mutton mutton... let a s___ in.

He tries so hard to change his ways,
14 times a day he bathes,
but no matter how long he keeps on scrubbing,
the man would always smell... smell like mutton.
Mutton mutton... smells like mutton.

One day he met a girl, she said her name was Keith,
her hair was gold, her *beep* were big, with shiny perfect teeth.
She loved the smell of all raw meat, like fish and pork and beef,
but this girl would be his downfall, his one and only grief...

His one true love, this nice female,
Escaped just now from Punggol jail,
this woman he saw as his wife
was brandishing a kitchen knife... brandishing a kitchen knife.

She jumped right up and my Uncle fled, from all escaping wounds he bled.
He passed away through loss of blood because of all the cuttin'.
And this ends, the tragic tale of Uncle Mutton... of Uncle Mutton...

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