Eminem Real Slim Shady, The Lyrics

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real slim shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real slim shady please stand up?
Were gonna have a problem here..

Yall act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like pam, like tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin her a__ worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (ahh!)
Its the return of the... ah, wait, no way, youre kidding,
He didnt just say what I think he did, did he?
And dr. dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. dres dead, hes locked in my basement! (ha-ha!)
Feminist women love eminem {*vocal turntable:
Chigga chigga chigga*} slim shady, Im sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who, yeah, but hes so cute though!
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than whats goin on in your parents bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on tv and just let loose, but cant
But its cool for tom green to hump a dead moose
My b__ is on your lips, my b__ is on your lips
And if Im lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And thats the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a womans c___oris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the discovery channel dont they?
We aint nothing but mammals.. well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*slurp*}
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then theres no reason that a man and another man cant elope
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus: eminem (repeat 2x)

Im slim shady, yes Im the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So wont the real slim shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

[eminem]
Will smith dont gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Well I do, so f___ him and f___ you too!
You think I give a d___ about a grammy?
Half of you critics cant even stomach me, let alone stand me
But slim, what if you win, wouldnt it be weird?
Why? so you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to britney spears?
s___, christina aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to carson daly and fred durst
And hear em argue over who she gave head to first
You little b____, put me on blast on mtv
Yeah, hes cute, but I think hes married to kim, hee-hee!
I should download her audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave eminem vd {*ahhh!*}
Im sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And theres a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just dont give a f___ like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

Chorus

[eminem]
Im like a head trip to listen to, cause Im only givin you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the b____ to say it
In front of yall and I dont gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it {*err*} I just s___ it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
Its funny; cause at the rate Im goin when Im thirty
Ill be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses a__es when Im jackin off with jergens
And Im jerkin but this whole bag of v_____ isnt working
And every single person is a slim shady lurkin
He could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings
{*hach*} or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming I dont give a f___!
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the real shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus 2x

[eminem]
Ha ha
Guess theres a slim shady in all of us
f___ it, lets all stand up