Cannibal! The Musical Trapper Song Lyrics

I can catch a helpless animal,
Skin it with my bare hands.
I wake up muddy,
And I go to bed b_____,
'Cause I'm a trappin' man.

I can brave the nastiest weather.
Weather!
Even if it's 80 below.
Below!
My pa was an elephant, but that's irrelevant.
My ma was an Eskimo.

I eat rabbits' heads for breakfast.
Breakfast!
With beaver b___ on the side.
The side!
My mind's magnificent and my body no different.
I'm full of trapper pride!

Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
Rip their fur, cut their skin with my knife.
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
One thing's for sure, there's nothing like a trappin' life!

I'm badder than the baddest sailor!
Sailor!
I make love to women 10 feet tall.
Good lord!
I've got a chest of wonder and b____ of thunder.
I can break right through a wall.

I love the sound of metal,
Metal!
Snapping on an animal's head.
Ka-c____!
Sometimes they scamper
Sometimes they whimper
But they always end up dead.

(Interlude by Nutter)
I've always wanted to be somebody
Who didn't get pushed around.
Now that I'm a trapper,
I'm the meanest guy around.
(Frenchy interrupts)
Second meanest!

The blood of a fresh-cut rodent
Is as sweet as brandy wine.
And the brain of an antelope
Tastes like cantaloupe.
What a yummy life!

Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!
Rip their fur, cut their eyes out with my knife.
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!

(Song is cut short, due to the trapper trio's inability to sing in corresponding scales)
[Noon] Oh, Stop!
[Humphrey] That's sick.
[Frenchy] I agree. Nutter, you were singing in the wrong key!
[Nutter] No I wasn't. It was Loutzenheiser. I was singing in Eb minor.
[Frenchy] The song's in F# major!
[Bell] I think they're the same thing. I mean, Eb is the relative minor of F#.
[Frenchy] No, it isn't. The relative minor is 3 half-tones down from the major, not up!
[Noon] No, it's 3 down. Like A is the relative minor of C major.
[Loutzenheiser] But isn't A# in C major?
[Bell] Wait, are you singing Mixolydian scales, or something?
[Frenchy] A# is tonic to C major. It's the 6!
[Humphrey] No it isn't!
[Swan] Well, it'd be like a raised 13th if anything.
[Frenchy] Oh well. You guys are just a bunch of loser diggers anyhow!
[Humphrey] Oh see. You know we're right!