ApologetiX Bethlehemian Rhapsody Lyrics

Parody of "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen
(1 Samuel 17)

With the Israelites
1st Samuel 17
Saul and his men cry
No escape from the Philistines
Up came Goliath
A hundred feet high it seemed
I'll end this war boys
Send one to fight with me
'Cause it's an
Easy way
We can tell
I defy
Israel
Anyone you wish boys
Doesn't really matter to me
To me

Goliath
Was quite a man
There were none who could compare
No one bigger anywhere
Goliath
Was a champion
And everyone who saw him was afraid
No one oo-oo-oo-oo
Stood a chance against the guy
If he came back again this time tomorrow
41, 41 days he comes up for battle

Little Dave
Said I'm the one
Just a shepherd with a sling
But I step into the ring
Good try, little buddy
King Saul replied
But we need some one real big to face this brute
Come on oo-oo-oo-oo
I ain't gonna die
This sunset comes that Philistine's gonna fall

I see a little bitty shepherd not a man
Are you fools? Are you fools? You're just fuelin' my anger
Am I just a dog you come at me with rocks and sticks?
Goli-liath (repeat x 5)
Here we go
With sticks and stones
I trust the Lord but nobody trusts me
He trusts the Lord but spends his time tending sheep
Facing a giant with a stone and a sling
Evil man
You must go
God will strike you down
He will not
No
He will not strike me down
Yes he will
He will not
He will not strike me down
Yes he will
He will not
He will not strike me down
Yes he will
Will not strike me down
Yes he will
Will not strike me down
Yes he will
You've had it
No no no no no no
Coma hera, coma hera
Coma hera little boy
I'll give your flesh to the birds of the sky
To eat (x 3)

So you think you can mock the invisible God?
So you think you're just fighting a sling and a shot?
Oh baby
You ain't just fightin' David
You're fighting God
And he'll knock you right outta here

Oooh
Go Dave, go Dave, go Daave
Woohoohoo

It doesn't really matter
What your size might be
God will fight me battles
God will win my battles for me

David will be king soon

(Version 2)
Is this a real guy? Is he just fantasy?
'Cause of his grand size, no one's safe from fatality
Open your eyes, look up at Goliath, and see:

GOLIATH
I'm dressed for war, boys. I need no infantry
Because I'll meet the one you propose
Israelites, pick my foe
Anyway, I'll win, so it doesn't really matter to me

DAVID
Mama, there's still no man who can come against this threat
You might figure now we're dead
Mama, Goliath is testing us
And now he's gonna know they're all afraid
Mama, ooh ooh ooh, he's a mean and crazy guy
He'll come right back again this time tomorrow
Daring us, scaring us -- cause he wants to meet in battle

Hooray! My time has come
Been a shepherd all my life -- but I'm taking on this giant
Goodbye, everybody -- but not for long
God will lead me all the while I face this brute
C'mon! Ooh ooh ooh!
(David you're a wimp though) I'm not gonna die
The One who wins my battles is Lord of all

GOLIATH
I see a little silly shepherd - not a man
What are you tryin' to prove? You'll be chewed up and mangled!
Send a boy to fight me? Very, very tiny flea!
DAVID
Gol-la-liath! Gol-la-liath! Gonna die you big galoot!
I'll kick your b___!
I trust the Lord but nobody trusts me

CROWD
He trusts the Lord, but suffers from insanity
Daring to fight 'gainst this monstrosity

DAVID
Evil comes, evil goes -- You will get deposed

GOLIATH
I will not, no! I will not get deposed

DAVID
Yes, you will (Repeat)
Your head will roll

GOLIATH
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Come-to-me-a! Come-to-me-a! Let the eagles pick your bones
Beelzebub and his devils gonna fight for me for me for me

DAVID
So you think you can scorn me and spit at my tribe?
So you think you're above me just based on your size?
Oh, baby ... you ain't just duelin' David
You're gonna get it now -- cause God'll win my battle here

CROWD
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!
DAVID
Guys I'm really flattered - yet it wasn't me
God wins every battle - God wins every battle for me
VOICE
David will be king soon