There once was a guy called Ivan
Who drank a gallon of s____
To prove he was a man
Then the s___ hit the fan
And gone was Ivan

There once was a girl called Jude
Who p___ed in a biker's boot
And asked if it was warm
Biker swiveled his arm
And <exit stage> Jude

So if you're happy and you know it clap your hands
Shove some nitroglycerine down your pants
Beware if you get a hard-on
In a sec your d___ will be gone
And you'll never get laid again.

Jude's sister Judith
Had nobody to play with
So she went ropeskipping
She tied her rope to a fan
And she went out with a splattering bang

So if you're happy and you know it clap your hands
Shove some nitroglycerine down your pants
Beware if you get a hard-on
In a sec your d___ will be gone
And you'll never get laid again. X 2

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
30
30.124
Danni Carlos You Can Leave Your Hat On Lyrics
Plasmatics Tight Black Pants Lyrics