Well, I saw it advertised one day,
that Bear Mountain picnic was comin' my way.
Come along 'n' take a trip,
We'll bring you up there on a ship.
Bring the wife and family
Bring the whole kids.
Yippee!

Well, I run right down and bought a ticket
To this thing called Bear Mountain Picnic.
little did I realize
I was in for a pleasent funny surprise.
Had nothin' to do with picnic.
didn't come close to a mountain
I hate bears.

Took the wife and kids down to the pier,
There Six thousand people there,
Everybody had ticket for the trip.
Oh well, I said, it's a pretty big ship.
Besides, anyhow, the more the merrier.

Well, we all got on, what do you think,
That big old boat started to sink
More people kept a-pilin' on,
That old ship was a goin' down.
Funny way t' start a picnic.

Well, I soon lost track of m' kids 'n' wife,
So many people there I never saw in m' life
That old ship sinkin' down in the water,
there Six thousand people tryin' t' kill each other,
Dogs a-barkin', cats a-screamin',Women a yellin',
man a flyin' fists a-flyin', pape flyin',
Cops a-comin', me a-runnin'.
Maybe we just better call off the picnic.

I got shoved down and pushed around,
All I remember was a mournin' sound,
Don't remember one thing more,
all I remember walkin' up on the shore,
Mom's his leg is broken
my feet was splintered, my head was cracked
couldn't walked, couldn't talked ,
smell,feel, couldn't see,
I didn't know where it was, I was bald ,
Quite lucky to be alive though.

now feelin' like just climbed outa my casket,
I grabbed back hold of m' picnic basket.
Took the wife 'n' kids 'n' started home,
Wishin' I'd never got up that mornin'.

Now, I don't care just what you do,
If you wanta have a picnic, that's up t' you.
But don't tell me about it, I don't wanta hear it,
'Cause, see, I just lost all m' picnic spirit.
Stay in m' kitchen,
got picnic in my bathroom.

Now, it don't seem to me quite so funny
What some people are gonna do f'er money.
There's a bran' new gimmick every day
Just t' take somebody's money away.
I think we oughta take some o' these people
And put 'em on a boat, send 'em up to Bear Mountain . . .
For a picnic.

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