Noel Coward was a charmer.
As a writer he was brahma.
Velvet, jackets and pyjamas,
had a gay divorce and other dramas.

There ain't half been some clever b______s
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards.

Van Gough did some eyeball pleasers.
He must have been a pencil squeezer.
He didn't do the Mona Lisa,
That was an Italian geezer.

There ain't half been some clever b______s
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards.

Einstein can't be classed as witless.
He claimed atoms were the littlest.
When you did a bit of splitting-em-ness
Frighten everybody s___less

There ain't half been some clever b______s.
Probably got help from their mum
(who had help from her mum).
There ain't half been some clever b______s.
Now that we've had some,
let's hope that there's lots more to come.

There ain't half been some clever b______s
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards.

Okey-dokey!
Oh!
Segovia.
Da-laa la-laa da-daa da-lee
De dump di dump de dump-dump-diddle li-lee.

There ain't half been some clever b______s
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever b______s
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever b______s
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever........
..................................b______s.

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