Kyle: It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas.
My friends wont let me join in any games.
And I cant sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree
Or leave water out for Rudolph
'Cause there's something wrong with me.
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity.

I'm a Jew,
A lonely Jew
On Christmas.
Hanukkah is nice but why is it
That Santa passes over my house every year?

And instead of eating ham I have to eat kosher latkes
Instead of Silent Night I'm singing
Hoo Hact Toh Gaveesh
And what the f___ is up with lighting all these
f___ing candles please?

I'm a Jew,
A lonely Jew
I can't be merry
'Cause I'm Hebrew
On Christmas.

Celebrity Guest: Hey little boy I couldn't help but hear
Your feeling left out of Christmas cheer
And I've come to say that you shouldn't be sad
This is the one month you should be glad

'Cause its nice to be a Jew on Christmas.
You don't have to deal with the season at all.
You don't have to be on your best behavior or give to charity.
You don't have to have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family.

Kyle: And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
And have him breath is stinky breath on me.

Celebrity Guest: That's right, your a Jew!

Kyle: A styling Jew!

Together: Its a good time to be Hebrew,
On Christmas...

Celebrity Guest: On Christmas

See also:
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THEME Ultraman Ace Lyrics