Insane Clown Posse Dating Game Lyrics

(Host Intro)
Let's meet contestant #1
He's a schitzophrenic serial killer clown
Who says women love his s__y smile.
Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon.
Sharon, what's your question?

(Sharon)
Contestant #1, I believe first impressions last forever,
So let's say you were to come over to my parents' house
And have dinner with me and my family.
Tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stay.

Let's see, hmm, well I'd have to think about it
I might show up in a tux, ha! But I doubt it.
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
And look your mama in the eye and tell her f___ you!
Hurry up b____ I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti,
I'd pinch her limpy a__ and tell her get the food ready!
Your dad would probably start trippin and get me p___ed
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his f___in lips!
It's dinner time, we're hearin' grace from your mother
I pull a 40 out and pour some for your little brother
I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
You know for only 13 she got some big t__s!
After that, your dad would try to jump again
And only this time I'd put the 40 to his chin!
After your mom does the dishes and the silverwear,
I'd dry f___ her till I nut in my underwear!!!!

(Host)
Now let's meet contestant #2,
He's a psychopathic derranged crackhead freak
Who works in the Dark Carnival.
He says women call him stretch nuts.
Sharon, let's hear your question.

(Sharon)
I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions,,
A man who expresses himself in his own special way
#2, if you fell in love with me, exactly how would you let me know?

First of all, I could never love you
You sound like a richy b____, yo f___ you!
But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care,
By takin all these other motha f___ers outta here!
I'd go through your phonebook and whack em all
And find contestant #1 and break his f___in jaw!
Anyone who looked at ya, would have to pay
I'd be blowin f___in nuggets off all day!
Grab your t__ties, and stretch em down past your waist
Let go, and watch em both spring up in your face
I'd sing love songs to ya, the best I can
Get ya naked and hit it like a caveman
Then we'd go through the beach and walk in the sand
I'd throw a little sand in your face and say I'm just playin
As you spit it all out, I'll f___ your back
Grab your underwear and wedge it up your a__ crack!!!!

(Host)
Well it sounds like contestant #2 is just overflowing with sensetivity Sharon,
It's a tough choice so far,
Sharon, let's have your last question
And see which one is gonna win the right to your next date

(Sharon)
Ok, if we were at a dance club,
And you both noticed me at the same time,
Tell me, how would you each get my attention
And what would your pick up lines be?
Whoever's the smoothest wins!

Ok, first, I'd slide up to the bar
And tell you that I can't believe how f___in fat you are!
I'd tell ya that I like the way you make your t__ties shake,
And if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake.

f___ that! You'd be jackin me quick!
I'd order you a drink, and stir it with my d___
And then to get your attention in a crowded place,
I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face!

Yeah, freak her with your nuts, yeah that'll get her!

Tell her that she's fat, yeah, that'll work even better!

Look, f___ you, I gotta strong rap s___
You don't want contestant #2 he's mad whack
I walked into a bar, and there he was
Standing on a bucket (eeeuuugghhh) tryin ta f___ it
It was a big f___ing smelly a__ farm llama

d___ dogg!

How you gonna diss yo mama?