Quite often I get a thinking
How as kids we got by
Like christmas time in our house
We couldn't even afford a fire

But we made do in our house
Back then when I was young
Dad used to suck a peppermint
And we'd all sit round his tongue

We couldn't afford no tinsel
On our christmas tree
So we'd just wheel old grandad in
And make the old c___ sneeze...atchoo

Wheel him round the other side granny...atchoo

Well things change so b_____ fast
I got children now of me own
Now I heard 'em unwrap their presents
Last night when I got home

Santa claus you c___
Where's my f___ing bike
I've unwrapped all this other junk
There's nothing what i like

I've wrote you a letter
And i've come to see you twice
You geriatric w___er
Where's my f___ing bike

If i wanted a pair of f___ing shoes
I would've f___ing asked
This cowboy suit and ping-pong set
You can stick right up your a___

You went and mucked my order up
It's enough to make you spew
It's not just me that's p___ed off
My sister's cheesed off too

Santa claUs you c___
Where's my f___ing pram
You promised me you f___ing c___
You know who I am

'Cos I'm the little girl
You made sit right on your hand
Never mind your ho ho ho
Where's my f___ing pram

Next time i go to see him
I'm gonna punch him in the guts
Set his f___ing reindeer loose
Kick rudolf in the nuts

Just you wait til next year
'Til we get to that store
A mate of my little sister
'll come stomping through that door

Hey mums and dads just check his breath
And watch his bloodshot eyes
Don't listen to him boys and girls
'Cos he tells f___ing lies

He's a p___take and a pervert
He's not even f___ing bright
'Cos that f___ing w___er
Forgot my f___ing bike

Hey santa claus you c___
Where's my f___ing bike
I've unwrapped all this other junk
There's nothing what I like

I wrote you a f___ing letter
And I came to see you twice
You geriatric w___er
Forgot my f___ing bike

Yeah I'm gonna tell my dad on you
f___ing punch your head in....c___
I saw mummy sucking san

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