Well, I've been a Sunday driver noo for many's a happy year
And I've never had my Morris Minor oot o' second gear
I can drive at 15 miles an hour on motorway or track
Wi' my wife up front beside me and her mother in the back
There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
And her sister's granny and four of her chums ... and Auntie Jean

In a crowd of fifty trippers, you can always pick me oot
For my "Don't blame me, I voted Tory" sticker on the boot
With my bunch of heather stickin' in my radiator grill
And my stick-on transfer bullet holes and license for to kill
There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
And her sister's granny and four of her chums ... and Auntie Peg

I've a hundred plastic penants for to tell you where I've been
And my steering wheel is clad in simulated leopard skin
Up front from the driving mirror hangs a plastic skeleton
And in the back a dog with eyes that flicker off and on
There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
And her sister's granny and four of her chums ... and Auntie Mae

Always drive as though my foot was resting on the brake
And I weave aboot the road just so you canna over take
I can get you sae frustrated that you'll finish up in tears
And the sound of blaring motor horns is music to my ears
There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
And her sister's granny and four of her chums ... and Auntie Liz

Roy Williamson : Loze ... Liz
Ronnie Brown : she comes next
Roy Williamson : Oh, she comes next

Now, if you wonder how these weekly trips I can afford
It's because I'm on a stipend from the Scottish Tourist Board
You're supposed to enjoy the scenery, the finest o' it's kind
And that is why you have convoy following behind
There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
And her sister's granny and four of her chums ... and Auntie Rose

There's just no way of escaping me, no matter how you seek
For the simple fact's that I'm a traffic warden through the week
I'm boosting my efficency, and here's my master plan
I'm saving up my pennies for to buy a caravan
There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
And her sister's granny and four of her chums and Auntie Gertrude

There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy
And her sister's granny and four of her chums ... You're gaun too fast!

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