He squeezes in the van, all twenty four stones,
Gets three kebabs, eats them on his own,
Quick trouser cough, Nevis touches cloth,
f___! f___! Abandon truck! All the windows steaming up.

Gas! Gas! Quick lads! The air in here is turning brown,
Gas! Gas! Quick lads! Get the f___ing windows down,
Gas! Gas! Quick lads! Nevis gone and done a 'troop'!,
Gas! Gas! Quick lads! I think the big fat t___ has followed through.

Ben Nevis filled the van with 'Eau de t___',
He would have swung for less gas at Nuremburg,
Four chicken curries, eight tandooris,
Boiled eggs, three kebabs, f___ sake, no one strike a match.

Gas! Gas! Quick lads! Everybody's choking to death,
Gas! Gas! Quick lads! Loud and sour botty breath,
Gas! Gas! Quick lads! Dig a trench, avoid the stench,
Gas! Gas! Quick lads! Nevis, filthy, fat and flatulent.

At a transport caff, he gets baked beans,
r_____ rasp blows a hole in his jeans,
Everybody choking, nobody smoking,
He looks round, he blames the dog,
Covered in a smelly fog.

Gas! Gas! Quick lads! What the f___ has he been eating?,
Gas! Gas! Quick lads! It must have had some rotten meat in,
Gas! Gas! Quick lads! I've got tears in my eyes,
Gas! Gas! Quick lads! I think a rat crawled up his a___hole,
I think a rat crawled up his a___hole,
I think a rat crawled up his a___, and died. (Some considerable time ago)

©1987 The Macc Lads (with help from Wilfred Owen)

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See also:
JustSomeLyrics
47
47.114
The Macc Lads Barrel's Round Lyrics
The Macc Lads Blackpool Lyrics