Written by: Shel Silverstein

The hulk of a man with a
beer in his hand he looked
like a drunk old fool
And I knew if I hit him
right why I could knock
him off of that stool
But everybody they said
watch out hey that's the Tiger Man McCool
He's had the whole lotta
fights and he's always
come out winner
yeah he's a winner

But I had myself about
five too many and I
walked up tall and proud
I faced his back and I
faced the fact that he had
never stooped or bowed
I said Tiger Man you're a p____cat
and a hush fell on the crowd
I said let's you and me
go outside and see who's the winner

Well he gripped the bar with
one big hairy hand then he
braced against the wall
He slowly looked up from
his beer my God that man was tall

He said boy I see you're a
scrapper so just before you fall
I'm gonna tell you just a
little bout what it means to be a winner

He said now you see
these bright white smilin' teeth
you know they ain't my own
Mine rolled away like
Chicklets down the street in San Antone
But I left that person
cursin' nursin' seven broken bones
And he only broke ah
three of mine
that makes me the winner

He said now behind this
grin I got a steel pin that
holds my jaw in place
A trophy of my most
successful motorcycle race
And each morning when
I wake and touch this
scar across my face
It reminds me of all
I got by bein' a winner

Now this broken back
was the dyin' act of a
handsome Harry Clay
That sticky Cincinnati
night I stole his wife away
But that woman she gets
uglier and she gets meaner every day
But I got her boy that's
what makes me a winner

He said you gotta speak
loud when you challenge
me son cause it's hard for me to hear
With this twisted neck
and these migraine pains
and this big ole cauliflower ear
And if it wadn't for this
glass eye of mine why I'd shed a happy tear
To think of all that you
gonna get by bein' a winner

I got arthritic elbows
boy I got dislocated knees
From pickin' fights with
thunderstorms and chargin' into trees

And my nose been broke so
often I might lose if I sneeze
And son you say you still
wanna be a winner

Now you remind me a lotta my
younger days with your
knuckles a clenchin' white
But boy I'm gonna sit right
here and sip this beer all night

And if there's somethin' that
you gotta gain to prove by
winnin' some silly fight
Well okay I quit I lose
you're the winner

So I stumbled from that
barroom not so tall and not so proud
And behind me I still hear the
hoots of laughter of the crowd
But my eyes still see and my
nose still works and my
teeth're still in my mouth

And you know I guess that makes me the winner

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