I used to buy my chips from an oppressive chip shop regime.
The girl who worked there, she seemed happy,
But I knew it was not what it seemed.

"Do you want salt and vinegar"
Was what they made her say,
But in the language of the ghetto,
That means "help, I'm a woman in chains"

I wanted to free her.
In my dreams I would see her.
Running naked through the woods round Rainham,
If I had some tigers I'd train them.....
To protect her,
From the s__ual fascism that was lurking,
Round the gherkins.

I'd lean across the counter and we would talk,
I carved her name "Debbie on a little wooden fork.
But into the shop came a skinhead gang,
And s_____ed the fork from my hand.

Debbie, she looked at me,
To a__ert my masculinity.
I said "oy!"
They said "What?"
I said "Nothing..."

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