Captain Dan Blackbeard's Treasure Lyrics

I was sipping on rum down in old Havana,
Relaxing, just kicking it, under the cabana
When this old man walks up, scurvy as can be,
Taps me on the shoulder and he points to the sea:
(Pardon me sir are you the Captain Dan?)
"I'm a sailor no more, now I live on the land."
(This map I have points to perilous pleasure
A long-lost chest containing Blackbeard's Treasure.)
You're the worst liar amongst the scurvy knaves,
That treasure's been swallowed by the ocean waves,
A storm took that booty in it's undertoe.
(Ah, Captain D, that is surely not so.)
Well then, I say, what is your fee?
Or should I just kill you and take it for free?
Give me that map, let me have a look!
(Unhand me at once, you rotten crook!)

Refrain:
I'm no bilge rat mateys, I'm a serious sailor,
I don't need two hands just to rob from my neighbor
Hitting you with rhymes like a nine tailed cat
Off to see the gig where the treasure is at
Blackbeard's gold is all that we seek,
We plunder and we steal from the old and the meek
Dropping phat rhymes every day of the week,
The only rap crew with Buccaneer technique

Now this is a joke that doesn't make me laugh,
You call this a map, but where's the other half?
Give me a name, put me on the path,
Tell me right now or you'll be feeling my wrath!
(It's in the possession of the pirate Corsair
He's gone to the Keys from the port of L'Baire
His ship's been wounded, he's headed for repair
If you set sail now you'll catch him unaware.)
So we found Corsair and his wounded galleon
Strike your colors, so we can board you, rapscallion!
His flags go down, 'cuz he knows he's outgunned,
Climb onto his ship and we begin with the fun,
Give me the map!, I scream at Corsair,
Put my gun to his nose and wave my hook in the air,
(Never, you dog, that's enough of this prank!)
So I tie him up in knots and make him walk the plank.

(refrain)

Before he goes over, a spark lights his eye,
(I have the map here, I don't want to die!)
I take the map and review it with glee,
And push him overboard out into the sea.
We plunder their booty and scuttle the ship,
Who wants a galleon that's been beat by a whip?
The map was complete, who cares what we did?
We set sail for the X where the treasure is hid,
Three days travel to the mouth of the cave,
The sky was all dark and not a single wave,
The waters only sailed by the dumb of the brave
In pursuit of the riches that we dare to crave.
Blackbeard's chest, it was sitting right there -
A mountain of gold in the open air.
I was just so focused on what I'd be worth
I didn't notice a rumble rising under the earth.

(refrain)

What the hell is this? A dragon, blast!
Better call the maties over here really fast
It went something like this: the dragon was p___ed
And it ate all my sailors in the flick of a wrist
With a metallic crash, the PD-10 appeared,
I'm sorry, but the plot here it gets kind of wierd,
See I drank so much rum since this story's begun
I forgot what happened at the end of the run.
Oh, yes! I remember! The dragon was slain,
The robot's laser shot and splattered his brains
I took all the loot and shot back to my ship
I went back to Havanna and I chilled for a bit

(refrain)