Intro: Okay, this is a song, that uh, there's a lot of Christmas songs out there, and not too many Hanukkah songs, so I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who dont get to hear any Hanukkah songs--here we go...

Put on your yarmulke, here comes Hanukkah
So much fun-ukkah to celebrate Hanukkah,

Hanukkah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
Heres a list of people who are Jewish, just like you and me:

David Lee Roth lights the menorah,
So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah

Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli,
Bowzer from Sha Na Na, and Arthur Fonzarelli

Paul Newman's half-Jewish; Goldie Hawn's half, too
Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew!

You don't need Deck The Halls or Jingle Bell Rock
'Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock--both Jewish!

Put on your yarmulke, it's time for Hanukkah,
The owner of the Seattle Supersonic-ahs celebrates Hanukkah

O.J. Simpson--Not a Jew!
But guess who is? Hall of Famer Rod Carew (he converted!)

We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish--not too shabby!

Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
Well, he's not, but guess who is? All three Stooges!

So many Jews are in show biz
Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is.

Tell your friend Veronica, its time you celebrate Hanukkah
I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely Hanukkah
So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah and smoke your marijuanic-ah
If you really, really wanna-kah, have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah

Happy Hanukkah!

See also:
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